I literally wouldn’t be Victoria Bly without Mr. Bly himself. (I would otherwise be known as Victoria Gamboa, haha)
He’s my forever & my favorite.
This man to my right, Jacoby, is everything that I hoped for in a husband and more. We have been the Bly’s for a little over a year now, and its been such a honour and joy to join my life with his.
Jacoby is all the things that I am not, or struggle to be, but day by day he allows me to learn from all those things he is and teaches me how to do so myself. He is patient, always kind, so selfless, forgiving, extremely generous, handsome, and all together lovely. We’ve grown so much since getting married. I wouldn’t say that he is my better half, only because I believe that I am whole by Jesus, but I would say that he definitely teaches me how to be a better me, daily.
Let’s be honest…We all have these thoughts about what marriage will be like before we are married, but for us, what marriage looks like in reality has been an interesting thing to see play out. ***Spoiler alert*** It’s not all about sex! hahah.
It is about intimacy though.
We will talk through more of our story as time goes on, but let’s just say this…
Year one: It was a beautiful year, but it took something to get there. Marriage itself, isn’t hard. Jacoby makes it so easy, but there were definitely times of heartache for the both of us. Times of confusion and even times of depression for me. Tears were shed whenever tragedy struck our family, and there were months upon months, in the beginning, wondering if I was a “good enough wife”. Sometimes those beliefs of me being a failure to our little family were all-consuming. There were days where I couldn’t get out of bed. There were days where I sat in shame. There were days where I wondered if there was something wrong with me.
But there were also days where I finally allowed myself to express what was going on within my head. And let me tell you, vulnerability breeds intimacy. Vulnerability allows real worries, fears and doubts to be displayed- but it also allows an area to foster truth. Truth from Jesus, and also truth from those in which you are opening up to.
In my case, Jesus and Jacoby. After allowing the tumbleweeds of my heart to come out of my mouth, Jacoby, taken back by some of things I had believed about myself, quickly spoke truth, life, and love over me. It’s been a journey, friends. Ever since that point of complete authenticity, I have been able to work on a lot of things that were harming me. Even when it hurt to face my fears or the lies I had believed for so long, I had my Jacoby- pushing me through the pain and allowing me to heal through the hurt, pointing me to our sweet Jesus, always.
It hasn’t been tough being married, but it was tough being a broken person who was running from intimacy. But, as soon as I, with the help of my husband, realised that I was just a person struggling with some broken pieces, and was guided into running into intimacy, that’s where everything began to shift. That’s where the beauty was made from the ash. That’s where the hurt began to heal. That’s where we became a healthier version of the Bly’s.
That’s where I’ll begin to stop for now… But let me finish with this:
This year for me, Victoria, it was pressing. But this year for us, the Bly’s, has been the most vulnerable, most eye-opening, most intimate, most treasured, most beautiful thing I have experienced. This is just the start to our story and I am so excited and honoured to be living this life that Jesus so kindly has Jacoby and I living.
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There is so much more to come! & Don’t worry, my single friends, and dating friends! We won’t only write about marriage- we will cover tons of ground as we continue to grow.
As we learn, we will share. xo
Victoria Bly 